Adventures in Muslim Land aka MOROCCO [northwestern Africa+Sahara]

I believe I have discovered my new favorite place, and that's definitely a feat to accomplish.
MARRAKECH
As soon as you enter the Djemma-al-Fna, you are accosted by pungent, spicy aromas, snake charmers and street performers, women with henna syringes ready to strike, and exotic music that fills your ears. Marrakech is definitely a city for the senses.
Marrakech is a lively city, set against the majestic background of the snow-capped Atlas Mountains; and the djemma is definitely the heartbeat. The buildings are all colored a golden-red sandstone hue, that mirrors the stunning dunes of the Western Sahara. People from all over gather to watch the monkeys dance, the snakes be charmed, the balls to be juggled, and the fortunes to be told. Smoke rises from the hundreds of food stands serving tanjine au poulet, and the best couscous one has ever eaten. From every side, in French, Spanish, and English, vendors yell "I give you good price," or "everything is free!"
Fruit and nut stands line the djemma, along with juice stands that make the most delicious orange juice in the world; it is simply unparalleled!
The lunch and dinner is great, but dessert definitely takes the cake. Pastries are delicious and melt in your mouth; the ice cream at Cafe Argana is decadent and tasty. Seriously folks, if you make it to Marrakesh, don't skimp on dessert!
The people are amazing and hilarious. They mostly speak French, Morrocan Arabic, a smidgeon of Spanish, and a few phrases of English. All come up to you constantly trying to sell something, but once you get beyond the fact that you're not purchasing anything, the people of Marrakech are wonderful to talk to. Not to mention the amazing English phrases they know, like "My stand number 7 11 will take you to heaven," and "Hola, pepsi-cola!" and my favorite, "I am your daddy, call me your daddy!"
Hahahahaha.
Marrakech is also surrounded by the most beautiful gardens, both within and outside of the medina; landscapers have taken the time and creativity to produce a harmony of different trees, flowers, palms, and millions of other vividly green plants.
And one last amazing thing is HAMMAMS. A hammam is a bath house. These hammams range from basic to luxurious, whatever you're in the mood for. I prefer the old fashioned beat down...erm I mean, rub down....no frills. Rough, tough, and I want to be SQUEAKY clean. This morning I got a sponge bath from a fat, naked Muslim woman. She soaped me up everywhere, as her enormous sagging breasts swooshed side to side. She then proceeded to exfoliate my entire body, and I kid you not, the top few layers or so of my skin came right off. It hurt sooo good. After that, another woman soaped me up and massaged me, and poured a bucket of water on me. Lovely. A sponge bath, massage, steam roof, and exfoliation by naked Muslims for only 70 dirham [about 9 or 10 dollars].
And one more thing that I simply cannot forget;
EQUITY POINT HOSTEL.
An amazing Riad style hostel only a three minute walk away from the djemma, in the charming souks of the medina. This hostel is clean, beautiful, has a great location and the staff is excellent. Superb, even! Everything one could want in a hostel and more. They even upgraded me on my last night to what I like to call the "Princess Suite," becaused my queen sized bed had silk curtains draped over it, there was a couch with tons of pillows, and my own bathroom with a large "hot tub." Instead of kicking me out on the street or making me sleep on the couch after my reservation that I'd paid for vanished, the staff had me stay in the most beautiful room without even paying a bit of the difference in price. This room per night is about four times more than what I was paying for a 6 person dorm. Amazing. And I can't forget the breakfasts! The best orange juice in the world, coffee, bread, jam, and the cooked good of the day all served on the sunny terrace as soon as you sit down. I definitely recommend this hostel. There is a reason it was voted the Number One hostel in the world from Hostelworld.com; I will definitely stay there again.






















































Merzouga and the Western Sahara
Beautiful. Breath taking. Amazing.
While it is a really long drive from Marrakech to the Sahara, it is well worth it and beyond scenic. The landscape changes constanty from the sky scraping Atlas mountains, to luscious green valleys and gorges, to volcanic cliffs and palm tree covered oases. Rivers and streams trickle through the valleys as a result of the snowmelt from the surrounding mountains. I think I saw just about every type of tree I know, which range from palm to conifers, weeping willows to oaks, and many many more; that gives you just a hint of the versitality in the land of Northen Africa.
From all the above, we go to Merzouga; after a ten hour minibus ride, this is "the Door to the Sahara."
I arrived just towards the end of the sunset, hopped on a camel, and rode to a campsite about two hours away. I had booked this excursion in hopes of seeing the really big dunes, and maybe go dune boarding [extreme!]. Unfortunatley, I booked the wrong tour in the sense that the 3 or 5 day plus tours take you to those dunes; I guess I should have ridden my camel a bit longer. However, it was fun! Minus the fact that riding over to the site we were short one camel, and since I was the smallest I had to share a camel with a slightly lecherous Italian man. Now, let me tell you, sharing a camel is just about the most awkward way to get to know someone. There is absolutely no space, you are bumping up and down and constantly rubbing up against each other. After about two hours of dry humping the Italian man on our camel, it was decided we should be married.
Anywho, we arrived at the site and had soup, delicious tanjine, and oranges with cinnamon for dessert. The Berber boys and young men [the very traditional mountain Morrocans, minus their trendy mobiles and email!] played music for us. It was apparent that they were over it, so they asked us to play some. All of us had a go, and a Harry Potter look alike in a traditional Muslim sleeved dress/cloak with a pointed hood [looks like a druid cape] started to awkwardly and mechanically dance with no rythm and utter concentration.
Aahahahaha.
After that was all sone, two of the Berber boys asked one of my friends and me to watch the stars with them. We ended up having a good conversation, albeit language barriers, in a mix of French, SPanish, and English. We saw a couple shooting stars, and I asked Mohammed if he got tired of doing this, day after day, for tourists that ask the same stupid questions, and demand culture and music. He said, "Yes. that's why we asked you to play music! Every day we come here, and Yosef cooks tangine for all the tourists..."
Granted, I am a tourist, but I attempt to abstain from asking annoying questions.
Hahahahaha.

















































Well, that definitely isn't all I have to say of Morocco, but it seems I have written a book. And it's 1:45 AM. Bedtime.

Ps. The airport is completely run over by kittens.