VEGAS

gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
more later.

CROPDUSTING AND BLAMING IT ON THE DOG.

Ultimate low blow.
Granted, the puppy does have horrible, sulfuric smelling gas, and she farts all the time.
Especially when she jumps up on the window sill.
But seriously, Wylie gets enough grief for her stinky clouds.
For the past couple hours, the horrible stank has been drifting around the living room and kitchen.
At one point, I smelled the gas, but the puppy wasn't near me.
David was.
He insisted it was the dog.
Then after dinner, I was sitting at the table, and in walked David; followed by an invisible pungent cloud.
I finally yelled, "It was you! Not the dog! LIAR!" Or something to that extent.
He had been cropdusting me all night.
HORRIBLE.
This blog is OUTING DAVID ON HIS STINKY FARTS.
He will be sleeping on the couch tonight.

AAHHAHAHAHAHA

Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.

The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter.

Click to hear Dr. Manny discuss medical errors.

The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team.

Now the woman is planning to sue the hospital. She still needs the leg operation and is searching for another hospital to do it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to the amazing Annie Carr!

UPDATE on last post...

So, her old roommate [from a few years back] called my telling me the street the owner's house is on, 4th from the left and "green."
Sooooo I just drove down to the house with Vince and Guinness.
THE LIGHTS WERE ON, which means she was or had recently been home.
I see someone in the window on the first floor and knocked. A guy answed, I asked if the dog was his, he said it was his roommate's upstairs. He tried to joke about it, saying the dog gets into their trashpile too. We gave him Guiness, and I said, "Well tell Veronica that she should take better care of her dog! The last time we found him, this is the second time, he was BLEEDING."
I was too pissed off to say anything else and stormed off.

Something that just happened that PISSES ME OFF

This is what I wrote on myspace, hoping someone in Truckee would read it and know about the dog;
"This is really starting to piss me off! ANIMAL CRUELTY
A few weeks ago, my roommates and i were driving home from shredding, and limping in the middle of the road was an old dog, bleeding at the head, messed up tail, in pretty bad shape.

Worried that the dog had been hit by a car, we picked him up, put him in our backyard with food and water, and called the three numbers listed on the tag.

No one picked up.

Finally, we get a call back from the dog's owner's former roommate, saying he will pick her up later.

We see our other neighbors, tell them about the dog, and come to find out that the owner is HORRIBLE and always lets that poor old dog wander around. They don't give two s***s about their dog Guinness.

Everyone around has picked Guinness up/saved him on several occassions, with no change in treatment by the owners.

We gave them a piece of our minds the last time.

SOOOOO
On to today.

I get home from work, and notice that the bottom right hand corner of the garage was hit in. I pointed that out to David, who said it had been like that since yesterday.

Then, about ten minutes ago, I went to let our puppy outside to pee, and heard rustling in the trash pile. Thinking it was a raccoon or something, I yelled for our puppy to get back and noticed an enormous brown dog, hiding under the trash trying to open the garage door up. He's a HUGE dog, and there's no way he could have gotten out that tiny slit with the garage door pushed in.

So, I called all three numbers.

No pick up.

Guiness is in our other garage with water, and I'm about to take out food and a doggie bed.

Those f*****g bastards, it makes me sick!
I can't call the pound, because they would probably end up putting such an old dog to sleep.
What do I do?
ASSHOLES!!!!"

A thought...

Do people with "established" ethnic and genetic ties to perpetually hot climates have arm hair?

Why does my towel fresh from the dryer smell like original flavor Cheerio's?

And why do my most thought provoking showers always get rudely interrupted?

Last Tuesday at the T-Club

As some of you know, every Tuesday night at the T-Club is "Beat the Clock." PBR and well drinks ar 50 cents starting at nine, and every half hour the price goes up 50 more cents.
I rarely go, but needless to say, people tend to get slightly intoxicated.
When Lyndsay, Kim and I sat down, and older man kept waving and gesturing towards me.
He approached me, and I recognized him as someone I helped out in the Demo shop with some skis [he and his friends came in wearing badass short apres ski sweaters with giant snowflakes].
He thanked me profusely for the next, oh, ten or so minutes, and was obviously drunk.
Not only was it Beat the Clock, but he and his friends had been at the bar since 2PM.
Lyndsay and I were feeling a bit rambunctious, and decided to have fun with this guy [and his suspenders!]
Long story short, we got him to do the hula in his suspenders, while the young gentleman behind me literally let his penis fall out of his pants...
Here is some fun photographic evidence from the night [and yes, that's his suspender in her mouth!];

SIA 2009

Just a heads up;
I will be covering SIA, a huge snowsports tradeshow, next week in Las Vegas. I will be taking photos and conducting interviews, so expect a full expose sometime after Friday of next week.
In the meantime, I'm trying to catch up on my Norwegian as well as pet the cutest puppy in the world.
More to come.

Amendment to previous post. A helpful check list: Do you look like a babe in your jeans?

1. When you do shop in the ladies department; What size jeans do you go for? 1? 3? 5?

If this is the case,you're in.

2. When you do buy pants, do they fit you everywhere but the waste? Do you have to hem the jeans to actually fit? Meh, sorry boys.

3. Do people tell you that you have a "bubble butt"? This is usually a reaction from someone who is shocked when they see your back side..we really don't know what else to say!

We will add more later, this is just the start to something beautiful.

AN ADDITION FROM KARI:
Dirty 'staches are the way to go. If you have a trash stash, you have a better chance of looking decent in skinny jeans.

First of many glorious duo posts from Lyndsay Turley, and Kari Langslet

Ohh dear, where do we begin?

Boys that should wear tight pants, and boys who should NOT wear tight pants;

This is tricky, how do you go about telling a fashion victim, "Boy, you look FAT in those pants!!!"

We have established some ground rules for boys that are interested in pursuing the tight pants lifestyle.

1. If you have thunder thighs, boy, please avoid the girls section of your local retailer.

2. If you have SOCCER CALVES, please, for all of our sakes, purchase straight legged jeans rather than slim fit skinnies. And, if you're "cool enough," you may be able to try out some boot cut jeans. But please, unless you're a stone cold fox, no bellbottoms. Flares may be okay.

3. If you're a Kari size [FUN SIZE!!! YEEEEE], then please, also refrain from skinny jeans, unless of course, you are uber UBER scrawny. Or scrumptious [like Nima]..Lyndsay's in love with him by the way.

Boys that can wear skinny jeans sound a little something like this;

1. Tall

2. Lanky

3. Babealicious/sex-ay GROWL

4. On the scrawnier side

If you walk by either of us and hear "Rawwrrr" you've obviously made the cut. Unfortunately if you hear any 'under-the-breath, snide utterances, you sadly have not.

You are FAT.

Or you have THUNDER THIGHS.

Or THUNDER CALVES.

Some of you may be reading this, and yes, we are talking about you. Lyndsay and I have made a mental list of those who have not made the cut, especially in the Tahoe community, but we're not THAT bitchy to tell. Some of you that are newbies to skinny jeans in the Tahoe area, you are probably one of the guys on the list. Even if you have been wearing them now for oh, 2-3 seasons, we still think you look fat.

Please stop.

You are giving skinny jeans a bad name and making a mockery of sexy boys everywhere.

Lyndsay and I both are shedding single tears at the thought of our list and your fat thighs.

We don't usually come across as this bitchy, but enough is enough. We both feel very strongly about this issue. Please support the "Only Sexy Tall Skinny Foxes Can Rock This Look" issue, otherwise known as O.S.T.S.F.C.R.T.L.

Thank you for your time.

Love,

Lyndsay Turley and Kari Langslet

Travel Plans, thus far;

It is almost travel time, and I have booked several tickets.
Although I am not a fan of planning, it's quite cheaper to book things in advance.
If any of you will be in any of the following places when I will be, give me a holler! Disregard my former international numbers as I've thrown away my sim cards.
so, here goes;
Jan 27th-30th: Las Vegas for SIA; Taking pictures, conducting interviews, etc etc.
April 14th: Flying to London
April 16th: Oslo, Norway
April 22nd: London
April 28th: Stockholm, Sweden
May 6th: London
May 8th: Istanbul, Turkey
May 15thish: Athens, Greece
May 20thish: Ios, Greece
June 24thish: all the beaches in, Croatia
July 2nd: Rome, Italy
July-August, maybe September: Working in Rome, days off in Paris and Barcelona, or wherever else
End of September: OKTOBERFEST in Munich, Germany
Beginning of October: Wherever I can find a job
October 13th: Fly from London to LAX

After Turkey, I'll make my way over to Greece somehow, first Athens and then Ios.
After Swedish Midsomer, I'll venture to Croatia and wherever else I want to go on my way to Rome, which I'd like to be there by the 2nd so I can make some cash. I will be in Rome for at least two months doing the Pub Crawl, in which my days off will be spent in Paris, Barcelona, maybe Amsterdam, or wherever the winds takes me. When I get over Rome, I'll venture SOMEWHERE, hopefully get a job, head to Oktoberfest, then hopefully work again before going home. All in all, July-October is really up in the air....

Now that's messed up.

Gross.
Despicable.

Gaza hospital comes under fire

The UN says Israeli shells struck three hospitals on Thursday, including al-Quds

By Heather Sharp BBC News, Jerusalem

Dr Waleed Abu Ramadan sighs down the phone.

The medical director of al-Quds hospital has not wept since he helped evacuate several hundred people from the blazing Palestinian Red Crescent (PRC) compound on Thursday night, but he says: "My heart is crying."

He says he is standing next to the smouldering remains of a pharmacy filled with bandages, medicines and other medical supplies, describing the chaos as intensive care patients and premature babies were wheeled onto the street.

The compound was hit twice during heavy fighting between Israeli forces and Hamas militants in the Tel al-Hawa district in the west of Gaza City.

Patients were seen struggling to get out of their hospital beds

In the first incident, in the morning, the administrative building next to the hospital was hit and burst into flames. Patients were evacuated "in panic" to the ground floor, the PRC said.

At about 2200 (2000 GMT), a second building housing offices and a lecture theatre was hit. Fire spread to the roof of the hospital itself, the PRC said.

'Utter panic'

The decision was taken to evacuate dozens of patients, together with medical staff and several hundred people from the surrounding area who had taken shelter in the compound.

An AFP photographer on location described scenes of "utter panic" as wounded people tried to struggle from their hospital beds.

"It was complete darkness in the street," says Dr Ramadan. "Our medical staff were pulling beds and running. It was difficult, very scary. There was some shooting. It was cold, very cold," he adds.

We are in the streets, the hospital is not working. How do you think we feel? Dr Ramadan

"Maybe 15 beds we pulled out - and there were people on foot with terrible injuries," he says.

It was 30 minutes before even the most vulnerable patients, including three premature babies, were picked up in ambulances and transferred to Gaza's Shifa hospital.

"Four patients were in intensive care, connected to the machines - the staff were doing manual ventilation with oxygen bags. The patients would die if they didn't do this," he says.

"The premature babies, we took them with the incubators," he adds.

"It was a risk for everybody to go on the street like this," he says, but none of the patients suffered complications, "thank God".

Staff from the hospital say they do not know exactly what hit the building, but the UN has said Israeli tank shells struck three hospitals, including al-Quds, in Thursday's fighting.

A medic holds the remains of an Israeli shell after it hit the al-Quds hospital

A UN compound and a building housing journalists were also hit.

"It was really a disaster, it was scary and frightening," said Dr Ramadan.

"There is a lot of damage, we can't use the hospital at all. I don't know how much time it will take before we can start using it again.

"This is our job. Now we are in the streets, the hospital is not working. How do you think we feel? We are really depressed."

The Israeli military has not yet responded to this particular incident, but it says it seeks to minimise civilian casualties and blames Hamas for using civilians as human shields.


At least the ceasefire is going to occur shortly. It breaks my heart to know that the world is full of such sick people.

Fun day

Took out my camera today.....
...used a filter I'd never used, so the pictures are blurry-ish...








it was a fun day.

HAPPY BELATED BIRFDAY

To my best friend, CHINUE FIELDS.

AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA

When divorce is taken to a new level....

Divorce man 'wants kidney back'

Some divorce lawyers say a kidney is not a marital asset to be divided

A US man divorcing his wife is demanding that she return the kidney he donated to her or pay him $1.5m (£1m) in compensation.

Dr Richard Batista told reporters that he decided to go public because he was frustrated at the slow pace of divorce negotiations with his estranged wife.

He said he had not only given his heart to his wife, Dawnell, but donated his kidney to save her life.

But divorce lawyers say a donated organ is not a marital asset to be divided.

Dr Batista married Dawnell in 1990 and donated the kidney to her in 2001. She filed for divorce in 2005 and a settlement has still not been reached.

'Betrayal'

He told reporters at his lawyer's office in Long Island, New York, that going public was a last resort.

I felt humiliated, betrayed, disrespected and disregarded Dr Richard Batista

"There is no deeper pain that you can ever express than betrayal from somebody who you love and devoted your life to," he said.

He said he had been prevented from seeing their three children for extended periods.

"I felt humiliated, betrayed, disrespected and disregarded for me as a person, as a man, as a husband, as a father."

Dr Batista's lawyer, Dominic Barbara, said his client was "asking for the value of the kidney" that he gave his wife.

A lawyer for Mrs Batista said: "The facts aren't as represented by Dr Batista. We will be addressing the issues before the judge within the next few days."

I want to do this!!!

Keep in mind that the first flying car, the Volator, was developed by a professor at UC Davis [where I went to school!]. This adventure sounds amazing; I wish I could be a part of something as silly and fun as this!!!!

By flying car from London to Timbuktu

By Jude Sheerin BBC News

The world's first bio fuelled flying car. Flight footage courtesy of Mentorn Media/Height and Hazard for Channel 4's Daredevil series

A voyage to fabled Timbuktu in a flying car may sound like a magical childhood fantasy.

But this week a British adventurer will set off from London on an incredible journey through Europe and Africa in a souped-up sand buggy, travelling by road - and air.

With the help of a parachute and a giant fan-motor, Neil Laughton plans to soar over the Pyrenees near Andorra, before taking to the skies again to hop across the 14-km (nine-mile) Straits of Gibraltar.

The ex-SAS officer then aims to fly over the Atlas Mountains in Morocco, above stretches of the Sahara desert and, well, wherever else the road runs out.

But forget Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - this flying machine is based on proven technology.

Touch of a button

Designed by a young British inventor, the Skycar enables its driver to pilot the vehicle at the mere touch of a button as though it were a microlite.

The team behind it calls the Skycar the world's first road legal biofuelled flying car.

Mr Laughton's destination is the west African country of Mali and its city of Timbuktu, a place which has had a mystical, "middle of nowhere" reputation since the heyday of Victorian exploration.

I thought this would be an interesting challenge... Timbuktu is an iconic and quirky destination Neil Laughton

The daredevil 42-day expedition will pass 4,000 miles (6,400 km) through France, Spain and Morocco, head into the Sahara by way of Mauritania and Mali, before returning home via Senegal.

He had also hoped to make the 22mile (35km) flight across the English Channel, but that plan was vetoed by civil aviation officials.

Even Mr Laughton - who has scaled the highest mountains on seven continents and trekked at the North Pole - admits his latest "boy's own" adventure is a little eccentric.

"I like variety and thought this would be an interesting challenge," he told the BBC News website. "Also Timbuktu is an iconic and quirky destination."

The father-of-two says his long-suffering wife's initial reaction to his latest feat of derring-do was "unprintable", but she is now fully behind the charity mission.

Ultimate boy's toy

As he prepares to set off from central London on Wednesday morning, Mr Laughton is optimistic the Skycar's maiden voyage will go smoothly.

SKYCAR IN NUMBERS Weight: 1,000lb (480kg) Engine: Four cylinders, 1,000cc Flight range: 185 miles (300km) Cruising altitude: 2,000-3,000ft (600m-900m) Top speed: 70mph (110km/h) airborne; 110mph (180km/h) road Cost: £50,000 ($76,000)

"Clearly the reliability of the car is crucial. We're going to have to cope with wind chill temperatures as low as -30C and blistering heat up to 50C. But it's been fully tested at a secret location and it 100% works."

With the help of sponsors, the team has invested about £250,000 ($380,000) developing the vehicle.

The brains behind the two-seater Skycar is 29-year-old inventor Gilo Cardozo, who will join Mr Laughton as co-pilot for the African leg of the trip.

The self-taught engineer's Wiltshire-based firm, Parajet, manufactures the industrial paramotors that propel the Skycar once it is airborne.

He has been dreaming of creating a flying car - the ultimate boy's toy - since childhood.

"The inspiration came from realising we can drive and we can fly, so why can't we do both? The problem all along has been the wing technology, which we think we've cracked with the Skycar," he said.

Mr Cardozo built and co-piloted the powered paraglider which took British TV survivalist Bear Grylls over the summit of Mount Everest in 2007.

He plans to sell the Skycar commercially to the public at £50,000 per vehicle, if it can prove its mettle on the Timbuktu mission.

'Unsavoury people'

The team is keenly aware, however, it is not just the environment which could prove hostile.

In 2007 the annual Paris-Dakar rally was cancelled amid reported threats from Islamic militants in Mauritania.

Inventor Gilo Cardozo is the brains behind the Skycar

Mr Laughton said: "Sadly the political situation in some areas on our route is not good and there are some unsavoury people about so we must be careful."

On the road, the Skycar takes barely three minutes to convert into an aircraft.

The driver unpacks the special nylon wing from the boot, before unfurling the parachute on the ground to the rear.

The powerful fan's thrust propels the buggy forward and provides enough wing lift to take off at just 45mph (70km/h), from any "airstrip" longer than 650ft (200m).

Once airborne, the driver uses pedals in the zero-carbon vehicle's foot well to steer the Skycar by tugging cables that change the wing's shape.

Should something go wrong, the pilot can launch an emergency parachute, which should allow the buggy to drift safely back to earth.

A convoy of support vehicles will accompany the team every step of the way.

What the nomadic camel caravans of the Sahara will make of the flying machine is anybody's guess.

KARMA! ahahahhaa

Africa

Americas

Asia-Pacific

Europe

Middle East

South Asia

UK

Business

Health

Science & Environment

Technology

Entertainment

Also in the news

-----------------

Video and Audio

-----------------

Advertisement

Have Your Say

In Pictures

Country Profiles

Special Reports

Related BBC sites

• Sport
• Weather
• On This Day
• Editors' Blog
• BBC World Service

Site Version

• UK Version
• International Version
• About the versions

Languages

• Somali
• French
• Arabic
• Swahili
• Great Lakes
• Hausa
• Portuguese Africa
• More

Page last updated at 13:58 GMT, Monday, 12 January 2009 E-mail this to a friend Printable version

Pirate 'washes ashore with cash'

A ransom is apparently dropped onto the Sirius Star by parachute Enlarge Image The body of a Somali pirate who reportedly drowned soon after receiving a huge ransom has washed ashore with $153,000 in cash, his uncle says. The man was one of a group of pirates who seized the Saudi supertanker Sirius Star in November. They reportedly received $3m (£1.95m) for freeing the tanker but five were said to have drowned after fleeing. A relative of the drowned pirate told the BBC the family was now trying to dry out the recovered money. The pirates' boat capsized when they were hit by rough seas as they were heading back to their homes in central Somalia, the leader of the pirates told AFP. 'Parachute drop' The pirates disembarked the Sirius Star on Friday, after a small plane was seen apparently dropping the ransom by parachute on to the tanker. A negotiator for the pirates told the BBC's reporter in Mogadishu by telephone that a $3m ransom had been paid shortly after the ship was released. The ship's owner has refused to comment. How do you pay a pirate's ransom? On patrol with the pirate hunters Life in a pirate town The tanker had been held for nearly two months off the coast of Somalia, near the town of Harardhere. Eyewitnesses in the coastal town said five of the pirates had drowned while trying to make off with the loot. "One of them was discovered and they are still looking for the other ones," resident Omar Abdi Hassan told the BBC. The uncle of the pirate who washed ashore, Abukar Sheikh Hassan, told the BBC that the family had found $153,000 in a plastic bag in his pocket. He said some of the money was wet and the family was now trying to dry it out. Three pirates managed to survive, but lost their share of the ransom when swimming to shore, reports said. The drowned pirate was apparently the only one who managed to hold on to his share of the ransom. The Sirius Star was carrying $100m-worth of oil - a quarter of Saudi Arabia's daily output - when it was seized more than 450 nautical miles south-east of Kenya. There were more than 100 reported pirate attacks in the busy shipping lanes off eastern and northern Somalia in 2008. An international force headed by the US is due to be established by the end of the month to tackle the problem. On Friday, Kenya's port authorities said a fishing vessel had been attacked and three Indian crew kidnapped, Reuters reported. Pirates are still holding a Ukrainian cargo ship, the MV Faina, which was seized in late September carrying 33 tanks and other weaponry.